Freak Like Me
by LolaWednesday
Summary: Erin didn't know much about life except Tate Langdon made it a bright, and beautiful place. They had never been more in love than they were at that moment, they had the world at their finger tips. But with teenage angst, drugs and sex something was bound to go wrong at some point; only Erin didn't see it coming. 1994 changed everything. Rated M for language, sex and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

* * *

 _October 31st 2011  
_

Seventeen years. They had been waiting seventeen years for this moment, each of them for different reasons, but all of them were equally shocked when they saw the couple sat on the dark beach and immediately recognised the male. How could they forget?

"There's someone here." The girl whispered, her head snapping round to see who it was. "Nice costumes. What are you, The Dead Breakfast Club?"

The rest of the conversation turned into static as Erin stared intently at _him_ , waiting for him to make eye contact or show any signs of acknowledgement. But it never came, the dark eyes that she had once looked into and felt nothing but pure, unadulterated bliss flickered over her for a few seconds as if he'd never met her before in his life.

"Yeah, why does he get to have a girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend, do you have a girlfriend? Kyle you?"

Girlfriend? As they had all walked along the beach Erin had realised the moment she saw the pair that they were very clearly on a date, and it stabbed a fresh wave of pain through her chest. After everything, everything they had been through and he had done he still managed to swep her aside and move on. Pushing the unruly mass of curls out of her face, Erin stepped closer to the young couple the seventeen long years of anger bubbling up. "Don't you care?" She hissed, crouching down. "I spent all these fucking years trying to convince these guys you weren't what they thought you were. Don't you fucking care?!"

"Come on lets go." Tate said, his dark eyes remaining on Erin for a few seconds before he quickly scooped up the blanket and steered his date away from the group. "This beach sucks. Someone should pick up the trash."

And just like that he walked out of Erin's life again, only this time he was taking a girl with him. His girlfriend.

"I told you, he's a fucking asshole." Stephanie spat venomously. "He doesn't give a shit about what he did to us, not even you. You still think we should all play nice?"

Erin scoffed, unable to give an answer. For so long she had been desperate to see Tate again, and not for the same reason as the other five, but because she missed him. God she had missed him, despite everything she missed being around him and every halloween she would venture out with her now only friends just in the hopes that for once he would show his face and put an end to the never ending pain he had caused her. "He's gone back to the house, are we going to follow?"

"Oh you bet we are." Grasping hold of Erin's hand, Stephanie pulled her down the beach behind the others. The pair had been friends for a long time, before the horrific incident that went down at Westfield High and the slither of a silver lining with being dead was that they were dead together. Linking her fingers through her bestfriends, Stephanie gave a small squeeze. "You're way prettier than that bitch."

The sentiment behind what Stephanie said was sweet but it didn't have the effect that the goth hoped for; the girl was clearly very pretty and even if she wasn't he had moved on, left Erin behind and that hurt more than anything physical about the girl. Fingering the bloody hole in her chest that served as a constant reminder of what had happened back in nineteen ninty-four the anger began flooding back, blurring any other thought wanting to penetrate Erin's mind. "He didn't even look at me, not properly. He's too busy living his life while we're all trapped in a fucking nightmare, the nightmare he fucking created."

"That's the spirit, keep that going we're nearly there."

The house was exactly how Erin remembered, still as creepy as the first time she'd stepped in it all those years ago. Walking up the drive way her eyes landed on the expensive looking car parked up right next to the front door, a car that her family never could have afforded, a car that she would never be able to buy. She found it was the little things that would send her spiraling into a hopeless chasm of depression, like watching every senior year graduate or someone get their drivers permit. In moments like that it truly sank in that Erin's life, and Stephanies, all of their lives had been abruptly halted and they now all suspended in time never moving forward, just remaining static.

"Oh great," Kyles voice pulled Erin's attention away from the shiny car. " He sends his little girlfriend out."

"With a pair of scissors. You guna make us some paper dolls?"

Erin eyed the girl more closely. She was pretty and exactly the type of girl Erin had always thought Tate would go for, dark and mysterious not like her. Even with the crappy hand she'd been dealt in life Erin always prided herself on how positive she was, that she saw the beauty in even the ugliest situation but as the years ebbed away she found herself becoming less and less like the girl she once was. This girl that Tate had chosen would have a full, rich life, she would have children, she wouldn't be forever stuck as seventeen year old.

"Hey," Stephanie whispered. "Are you okay? You haven't said a word." Snapping her head back to Tate's girlfriend, her voice raised again. "I think she should know who you are, know exactly what he's capable of. See if she protects him then." When Erin said nothing, Stephanie grabbed her left arm shoving the bracelets up until she exposed a small tattoo. "Read it." She yanked Erin's wrist closer when the girl didn't move. "I said fucking read it."

It was taking all of Erin's will power not to cringe as the girl spoke the word etched onto her skin, she had never felt more of a fool. The tattoo had always been something that she would look at to smile but not anymore, that had been ruined the moment she stepped onto the beach.

"What are you his ex or something?"

"Ex?! I'm about to fucking seconds away from wasting you bitch, does she look like an 'ex or something'? Fucking get out here you coward!" Pushing the girl aside Stephanie began beating at the front door wildly, her blonde and black hair whipping around madly. "Fucking coward!"

"I...I...I can't do this." It was all too much, this wasn't how it was supposed to be, it wasn't supposed to be anything like how it was. Snatching her arm back, Erin set off at a run her feet pounding into the sidewalk as she moved as fast as her legs would let her and she didn't stop until the sidewalk turned to soft sand. The beach had been somewhere she and Tate had gone regularly to escape the drama of high school and teenage life, they would talk about the future and babies, it was perfect. It was their little haven to dream as big as they wanted. Dropping onto her bare knees, Erin let out the scream she had been holding in for years. It ripped up her throat, bouncing off of the darkness and echoing back in her ears. There was no going back, all she ever did was look back, look at the memories that once were and cling and claw to get back to them but now she couldn't, everything had changed. There was no going back.

"We want to know why."

Erin heard Chloe ask a little way up the beach making the blonde turn to watch as her only friends interogated Tate. For a few years they had hounded her in the same way, claiming she had to know why he had done it but she was searching for the same answer as them. She had no idea what had been going through Tate's head that day, they spoke about everything but apparently not on that day. No, on that day he had decided not to let her in and Erin had simply become part of the fallout of his bad choice. She had to know. She had to know why he did it, and there was no way he was ever going to tell the others, if he was going to tell anyone it would be her. Despite everything, Erin still knew him better than anyone and if not for herself, for her friends she had to ask the question.

Mind made up, Erin got back to her feet and marched up the beach to where Tate was being circled like a sheep amongst wolves. "We don't have long, please. Come and talk to me. Just me." Five pairs of eyes shot to her all with the same incredulous look. "Trust me. He'll talk." Not waiting for a responce, Erin dragged her feet through the sand leaving the group behind praying that Tate would follow her. Maybe she didn't know him well anymore? It had been a long time and people changed over time, whether they be dead or alive.

"What's with those guys? I don't know them."

A warmth spread through Erin, he had followed her, she still knew him. Maybe there was some hope. "It's funny how the human brain protects itself isn't it? Like forcing yourself to forget you shot six high school students so you don't have to live with the guilt."

Tate scoffed lightly throwing a stone into the ocean. "I didn't kill them, or you. Like I said to your friends you've got the wrong guy."

"Tate, come on do you really think we would forget who killed us? Did you forget who killed you?" Tate shook his head in answer, still refusing to make eye contact with Erin. "Why won't you look at me?"

He didn't know why but when ever he looked at the curly haired blonde Tate felt like he did know her, like he knew her well and the feeling didn't settle well with him. "I don't want to, you and your friends jumped me. Why would I want to look at you?"

It was classic Tate, trying to hide his real feelings because they felt un-natural to him, he did it all the time when they were a couple and Erin couldn't help but let out a knowing laugh, her long hair spraying out as she threw her head back. "You know the day you did this," She paused briefly to point at the hole in her chest the shot gun had created. "You were supposed to meet me right here before school but you never showed. I knew something was wrong, we had been falling down a rabbit hole but apparently you were further down than I was."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Abruptly Tate stopped walking, grabbed Erin's shoulders spinning her to face him, his face contorted in confused anger. "I'm sorry about what happened to you but I don't even know you, maybe you should see someone?"

Erin's anger spiked, shot higher than it had ever done before. She had had enough of his little charade, he needed to face what he'd done and give her the explaination she deserved. "I need to see someone? You walked into our school and shot five students dead, nearly killed the librarian and then shot me, in the chest." Repeating what Stephanie had done back the house, Erin shoved the diy tattoo she had given herself back when she was alive. "See this? I did this in your house, the one your new girlfriend lives in, when you told me you loved me the first time." Little by little Erin saw the realisation creep into Tate's mind, tears began to pool in his eyes and any anger dissolved being replaced by horror. "Remembering now Tate?"

"I...I didn't mean to...I didn't mean to hurt you." He choked, drawing his head into his hands and beating it repeatidly tryint to dislodge the memory of killing the blonde from his head. "I thought you were someone else-"

"What? Another innocent child? Another person who had done _nothing_ wrong to you? You ruined seven lives because what? You were having a bad day?" The tears that had been threatening to spill now fell freely down Tate's cheeks only increasing Erin's anger. Why did he need to cry? It was entirely his fault they were all dead, himself included. "Don't you dare fucking cry Tate. We're stuck in that fucking nightmare, stuck in the place where you decided to end our lives!" Erin was shouting so loud her throat hurt, he looked scared of her almost and she couldn't have been happier. "You're living a fucking peachy life with your new girlfriend and what about me? I'm alone! I'm still stuck in that fucking school where I have to relive day in and day out the precise fucking moment when my boyfriend shot me!"

"I'm so sorry Erin! Please-"

"Sorry?!" Interupted Erin, giving Tate a hard shove knocking him into the sand. Stood over her once boyfriend crying on the ground made all the years she spent wishing that he was with her seem like the biggest waste of time. "You're a psychopath Tate, I wish I had never met you." Turning on her heels, Erin began a slow walk back to the high school that served as her eternal prison, the sun was beginning to rise. Time was up. "More than anything I wish I had never loved you."

* * *

 **A/N/ I hope who ever reads this enjoyed it, this is my first AHS story so any feedback would be awesome :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

* * *

 _November 2011  
_

For days Erin had been waiting for the inevitable visit to the library from Tate's new girlfriend, and when the broody girl walked through the door she couldn't help but notice again how pretty the girl was. She definately wasn't a californian girl, definately not from the valley. Slinking around the book shelves, Erin watched as the girl spoke to Mr Carmichael the librarian about the shooting that had resulted in his disability. It always seemed strange to Erin that he had chosen to stay on at the school after what had happened back in nineteen ninty-four, she had no choice whether she could leave or not but if she did there was no chance she would have stuck around. Subconsciously Erin's eyes drifted over to the library door where she had spent her final seconds alive, if she had never shown up that day she would still be alive, she'd be in her thirties, possibly married with children but fate had had other ideas for her.

The girl moved away from Mr Carmichael, their conversation clearly finished and without a second thought Erin pushed a book from the shelf next to her, drawing the girls attention before she showed herself. "I was wondering how long it'd take before you showed up here. Find what you were looking for?"

"What do you want from me? I know...I know that you're dead, I know Tate killed you."

"Shot gun wound to the chest, killed me almost instantly but I lived just long enough to see the pain it gave him." Walking back behind the large bookcase, Erin sat down at one of the tables used by studying students and kicked out the chair opposite her for the girl to take. When she didn't immediately sit down, Erin laughed lightly. "You'll never get the answers you want from him. You're only shot of ever knowing the real Tate is sitting in that chair and talking to me. Take it or leave it." Still the girl didn't take the seat, instead chosing to eye Erin skeptically. "What's your name?"

"Violet."

"Pretty. Well Violet, I've got no where else to go to so what's the real harm in talking to me? It's pretty obvious Tate didn't tell you anything about what he did."

Finally Violet dropped into the seat opposite Erin, the dead girl was right there was nothing to lose by listening to what she had to say. "I thought you were just his crazy ex, trying to scare me off on halloween. Where's the hole?"

The black and white plaid dress she had been wearing the day she died was currently intact, the wound to her chest no longer there; Erin didn't like showing the wound all the time, it was too painful to have a visual reminder constantly on her body. It was bad enough some of the other victims chose to have theirs displayed all the time, in all honesty it made Erin feel a little sick. "I don't always show it, but it was halloween. Seemed fitting, don't you think? Tate needed to see, needed to be reminded of exactly what he had done."

"He's seeing my dad, he's a psychiatrist. That's how I met him."

Erin laughed darkly at Violet's weak attempt of defending Tate, the girl had a lot to learn. "He can't help him. I thought I was helping him and look how that worked out."

"Cut the bullshit," Violet hissed viciously, leaning closer to Erin acros the table. "I googled what happened, I've seen it all. Something, they must have done something. _You_ must have done something to make him do that."

How dare she? Who was this little girl to judge her, or anyone of the other fifteen kids that had died that day? Mirroring Violet's movements, Erin leant further across the table but snatched up her hands and pulled them until the girl could just brush her chest with her finger tips. "Seventeen fucking years I've been trapped here because of what he did, so do not come in here thinking you know anything." Making the gory wound appear on her chest Erin pushed Violet's fingers into it slightly, pleased when she recoiled in disgust. "You want to know what happened? The real Tate? Then shut up and fucking listen."

* * *

 _Summer 1993  
_

Erin pinched the tip of the joint she was sharing so tightly her fingertips began to ache. She was frantically waiting for Tate to show his face, he hadn't been in any of the lessons they shared and he had failed to show up under the bleachers at lunch, where she was currently sat legs jiggling with impatients. Beside her Kevin nudged at her leg, waiting for her to pass the joint back to him.

"He'll turn up soon. He always does Erin." Kevin said soothingly, his attention flicking over to where Erin was staring out at the playing field. "Pass that over. You know I bet he's got detention or something, you know what he can get like." Kevin continued as he eagerly plucked the joint from Erin's hold and took a deep drag. "He'd never cheat on you, he's crazy about you man."

That wasn't what Erin was afraid of, she knew that Tate would never do that to her, but there were sides of Tate that only she got to see and it was those faces of Tate that had her worrying when he didn't show up to school. "It's not that Kev. I think I'm going to go to his house, see if he's there. Cover for me?" But before Erin could get to her feet, the blonde curly mop of hair that could only belong to Tate came into view a little way across the field.

"See, told you."

Anything else that Kevin said was lost on Erin as she was already marching out from under the bleachers at a determined speed towards Tate. Something within Erin snapped when his lopsided grin came into sight. There was no time to count to ten, or take deep breaths, because her hand was already drawn back ready to slap the stupid grin right off of his perfect face. But Tate was quick, quicker than Erin and before her hand could make contact with his cheek he had caught her wrist.

"What the fuck Erin?!" Tate grumbled, fighting to keep his girlfriends hands at bay as she struggled against his hold to hit at him. "Erin! Cut it out."

Erin grunted in displeasure, but she stilled her arms and rest her hands on her hips when Tate dropped his hold on them. "Where have you been? You haven't been in school all day, don't you dare try lie to me and say you have."

Their little spat was drawing quite the crowd of onlookers from the bleachers making Tate feel increasingly uncomfortable. He didn't like people in his business at the best of times, and especially not the halfwits he called classmates. "Do we have to do this here? Can we go somewhere just us?"

"No. No we cannot go 'somewhere just us', I want to know where you've been." Erin was more than aware of the eyes on the two of them, it wasn't an unusual occurance to find the couple arguing heatidly. On more than one occasion Stephanie had asked why she and Tate even stayed together, but she didn't understand. They loved each other, they loved each other passionately, dangerously almost and sometimes that led to tempers flaring.

"Can we go under the bleachers then? I'm fucking sick of those jocks staring at us like we're lepers." Flashing a dazzling smile at Erin that he knew would soften her, Tate took her hand leading her back to their usual lunchtime hangout. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a clear packet, filled half way with white powder. "This is why I was late, remember last night I said-"

"You were making a pick up." Erin interupted feeling her cheeks flush a soft red. She had kicked off for no reason and made a scene infront of a lot of people and all because _she_ hadn't remembered their conversation the night before. "Do you hate me?" Erin asked sweetly, picking at the hem of her sundress.

Pulling her tightly into his arms, Tate smiled into Erin's hair enjoying the smell of her fruity shampoo and the slight musk of marijuana. How could he ever hate her? She was perfect. "Never," He said grin widening. "Who else would be a weirdo with me?"

Grinning back at her boyfriend Erin drank in his handsome face, the shadows from the bleachers above dancing patterns across it. She never wanted anyone else to weird with him or anything else with him for that matter. He completed her. "No one Langdon." Shifting onto her tip-toes, Erin planted a soft kiss on his enticing lips wanting the feel of them to imprint itself in her mind forever.

"You guys make me sick." Stephanie groaned, making a loud gagging noise as she bent over pretending to vomit.

"No one asked you Boggs." Tate snapped sharply.

"Tate." Admonished Erin in a low hiss. It wasn't unfair to say that Tate had strained relationships with pretty much everyone he knew but Stephanie was her bestfriend and as far as Erin was concered he would do his best to be pleasant to her. The drugs weren't helping Tate's moodswings, in fact they were having the opposite effect. As Erin snorted a small heap of cocaine off of the outstretched key and the drug hit her system a pang of guilt washed over her. Was it really a good idea for her to be encouraging the behaviour by partaking? Erin knew the answer was no, but even so she knew when they went back to his after school ended she'd be snorting lines off of Tate's desk.

"Just an observations." Stephanie shot back not missing a beat.

"Fuck you Boggs."

Erin sneaked a quick glance at her best friend out of the corner of her eye. When she saw the disapproving glare on the goths face, her eyes fixed exclusively on the key that Erin had just snorted from, she blanched and turned back to Tate. "Jason Anderson is having a party tonight, his parents are out of town. Are we going?"

Tate's face creased in displeasure telling Erin everything she needed to know. It had been a long shot anyway, she knew Tate wasn't one for house party's but with Jason's parents out of town it seemed like a good excuse to score some free booze and drugs. "It's cool, I can see you're not into it." Erin sighed dramatically, gleefully aware that Tate's resolve would already be slowly dissolving. "It's just I brought a new dress and I was going to wear it to the party. But it's okay, we'll just hang at yours-"

"What kind of dress?" Cut in Tate playfully, offering out another key of cocaine.

Snorting the powder, and rubbing the excess away from her nose with the back of her fingers Erin stepped closer to Tate being sure to press as much of her body as she possibly could into his. Lowering her voice, she looked up at him through her thick lashes, hands knotted in the bottom of his frayed jumper. "One you'll never see without that party."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

* * *

 _Summer 1993  
_

The party was already well under way when Erin crossed the threshold of the Anderson house, the music could be heard blaring half way down the street as she had walked alone to the party. After going to Tate's house to met him before they left for the party, his mother Constance had informed Erin that he wasn't home which left Erin at a cross-roads; either go to the party without him or go home and watch her own mother get blind drunk all evening while her latest boyfriend Chad smoked crack. It was an easy decision.

"Erin!" Jason boomed from the expensively decorated livingroom, already drunk. "I didn't think you'd be coming. Where's your freak boyfriend?"

"He's not a freak." Erin scowled, shoving past Jason to get to the huge pile of alcohol lined up on the glass coffee table. She hated it when people made snide comments about Tate, they just didn't know him like she did. Snapping open a can of beer she took a large swig before going to leave the overcrowded livingroom, if Jason was going to make snarky comments about Tate all night then she had little interest in remaining in the same room as him. A hand latched around her wrist stopping Erin just before she was able to leave.

"Hey Erin don't be like that." Jason slurred, his alcohol soaked breath fanning over Erin's face. "You could do so much better than that loser, way better."

"What someone like you?"

"Exactly someone like me. Doesn't have to be me but you know I am pretty fucking great."

The ego Jason had at only the age of seventeen was unreal, what was he going to be like in his twenties? Erin had no interest in him, or any of his team mates for that matter. "Let go of me Jason before you embarrass yourself." Jason's face turned to a look of disbelief, it was obviously not what he'd been expecting her to say but Erin wasn't about to fluff his already huge ego just because it was his party and he was a star football player.

"Do you know what people say about you and him Erin?" Asked Jason angrilly. "Everyone knows you're both cokeheads, not like you hide it. Bet you put out on the first date aswell. Does that _freak_ even know what a date is? Or did he just take you back to his and because your such a slut you gave it up straight away?"

"You're drunk Jason."

"I don't know why you're being such a frigid bitch with me, but you'll give it up like a whore to Langdon."

Snatching her arm away from Jason's hold, Erin straightened her long curly hair out not wanting to inflame the situation further. Jason was being a dick, but he was drunk and reacting would only make matters worse. "He's my boyfriend Jason, what I do with him is none of your concern. Seeing as you're drunk I'll pretend this conversation never happened."

But to Jason the conversation was far from over, fueled by alcoholic courage he grabbed Erin's arm again this time tighter and pulled her closer to him. "This is my house Erin, you shouldn't be rude to the host."

"Jason let me g-"

"How does the saying go? Like mother like daughter? And everyone knows what your mom's like, a straight up whore. Gives blowjobs behind the grocery store for booze, loads of the guys have been with her and the apple never falls far from the tree." Squeezing Erin tighter to him, Jason leant forward forcing a sloppy kiss onto her unwilling lips his tongue probing to desperately seek entrance into her mouth.

Shoving as hard as she could, Erin managed to dislodge herself from Jason's tight hold her whole body shaking. Without a word she bolted from the house, the party long forgotten, there was no way she was going stick around after what Jason had just done. Sprinting down the street Erin's mind whirred at a hundred miles an hour, where was Tate? Why had she gone to the stupid party anyway? She should have just gone home or looked for Tate, but no she had to go like everyone else. God she was such a sheep. The dress she had been so excited about showing to Tate bounced around her thighs wildly as she ran to the only place she could think that Tate might be; the beach was one of their favourite hang outs, it was so quiet and relaxing, not many other students went to where they would sit, and just being alone together was the greatest feeling in the world.

"Tate?" Erin yelled as her feet made contact with the soft sand. "Tate? Are you here?" Squinting she tried to see further down the dark beach, to see if she could make out the unmistakable figure of her boyfriend. "Tate!" But there was no answer, only silence. Slowing down to a walk, Erin sucked in air loudly catching her breath from the long run she just done and dropped to her knees. Where was he? Maybe Constance had lied? Maybe he was actually at home? The cool evening breeze curled around her body leaving goose pimples in its wake, she couldn't stay on the beach much longer in just the black slip dress, well not at least without freezing to death. Dusting the sand from her knees, Erin began the tedious walk to Tate's house, hoping and praying that he would actually be there and that if Constance had lied earlier she wouldn't do it again.

The Langdon house was an impressive one, much more impressive than Erin's. Yet as impressive as the house was, it creeped Erin out, there was something about it that had a dark edge to it, like the walls could hear and the paintings on the walls could see. Whenever she stayed over, Erin was always sure to not be left alone, not even in Tate's room.

"Is Tate home?" Erin asked as the door swung open after her tenth knock to reveal an annoyed looking Constance. The woman didn't like Erin much, she was well aware of that, but she could never figure out why. As far as she was aware she had never done anything to offend Mrs Langdon, and she always made sure when she was visiting that she was polite, but the way that Constance would watch her when she thought no one was looking gave away her true feelings towards Erin.

"Yes he is," Constance replied in her southern drawl. "Unlike you young lady, my son does not find it appropriate to be wondering the streets at this ungodly hour. So I'll bid you goodnight."

Slowly the door started to close on her, but before it could close fully Erin jammed her foot in the small gap. "Can I please come in? It's...I don't really want to go home. And I really don't want to go back to the party." Erin admitted quietly, silently praying the older woman would take some pity on her. Constance knew everything about everyone in the neighbourhood, so there was no doubt in Erin's mind that she knew about her mother and why going home didn't evoke feelings of happiness in her.

"Come in." Constance sighed swinging the door fully open and then slamming it once Erin had walked inside. "That is a beautiful dress you are wearing." Leading the young girl into the kitchen she lit up a cigarette before holding the metal box out for Erin to take one also. "So, I'm guessing that little dress of yours got you in some trouble tonight?" Inhaling deeply on her cigarette, Constance blew out a large cloud of smoke before continuing. "Men are animals, doesn't matter how old or young they are, they're primal and only follow their basic needs. When I was a young beautiful thing like you, I moved here to be a movie star but all those film men cared about was the flesh between my legs and that is not how a proper lady such as myself acts. So like a puff of smoke my little dream disappeared, and here I am."

Erin felt sad for the woman sat opposite her, how ever vindictive and mean Constance could be the woman she was showing at that moment was raw and hurt and Erin couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "Jason Anderson is a neanderthal, I never should have gone to that party."

"As women we are bred to blame ourselves for the mistakes of men. But a real woman knows exactly how to exact revenge on a man who wrongs her." Stubbing out her cigarette in a crystal ash tray, Constance got down from the breakfast bar her long bath robe gliding behind her. "You may sleep on the couch. Not in Tate's room, I won't have the neighbours gossiping about the local whores offspring making late night visits to my son."

And there she was, the Constance that Erin knew well, any kindness or charity completely gone. "Thank you Mrs Langdon." Dropping down onto the couch Erin's eyes scanned the dark room, the feeling of unease she always got from the house beginning to settle in now she was alone. But it was better than going home to her drunk mother and Chad, they would pester her about where she had been and then Chad would make some unwelcome comment about her outfit until she couldn't stand to be in the same room as him and she'd retreat to her bedroom, where in the early hours of the morning her mom would come falling in crying with vomit down herself saying Chad had hit her. It was a never ending cycle and sleeping on a couch in a creepy house was a miles better option. Curling up into a tight ball, head snuggled into one of the throw cushions, Erin felt her eyes get heavy with sleep. It had been so long since she had gotten a proper nights sleep with no rude awakenings, and as uncomfortable as the couch was it felt heavenly in that moment. Just as her eyes began to drift shut, sleep taking over, she was positive she saw Tate in the doorway looking at her. "Tate?" She called out quietly but no one replied and only seconds later she fell into the deepest sleep she'd had in a long time.

* * *

 _November 2011_

"So you had shitty parents, and Tate kept doing the disappearing act? That happens to loads of people, you're not special." Violet scoffed spitefully. "Maybe the drugs he took that day were bad? The ones you did with him."

Erin could see quite clearly that Violet was trying desperately to keep the finger of blame pointed directly at her, it wasn't shocking, for years she'd done the same thing blaming herself for Tate's actions but over time she had come to the realisation that it was nothing to do with her. It was all Tate.  
Tucking a loose curl behind her ear, Erin stood from the table and quickly went to where she had stashed the yearbook from when she was still alive. Although it had been decided after the shooting that Tate wouldn't be featured in the book at all, they had missed one photo of him and secretly Erin would look at the photo remembering all the good times she and Tate had once had. Returning to the table, she slammed the book down in front of Violet flicking to the memorial page for the victims of Tate's massacre. "Coke didn't make all these people die. _I_ didn't make all these people die. I _am_ one of those people. One of those kids, that's all we were, kids. I had it all planned out, my whole life and Tate was part of those plans. We were both excited for the future outside of Westfield and now all my future is, is Westfield. How's that for irony huh?"

Hearing about Tate killing all those people was hard enough to digest but listening to his dead ex-girlfriend go on about how in love they were hurt just a little bit more. Violet didn't want to know about the plans they had made, or the things they had done she just wanted to understand why he had done it. "If he loved you so much why didn't he come here every halloween? You can leave then right?"

Jealousy was an ugly thing, and Erin had seen it rear its ugly head her fair share of times while dating Tate, and it disturbed her that the girl she was sat with was more overcome with jealousy of Tate's old life than by horror of what he had done.

"He shot you, maybe you're not as innocent as you make out? A normal person doesn't just shoot their girlfriend."

"He didn't mean to." Erin's eyes locked onto the library door, Violet forgotten. "He didn't mean to shoot me. He cried and held me as I died in his arms, I was the only person that day who wasn't meant to die."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

* * *

 _Summer 1993_

The warm californian breeze blew gently through the thin curtains, giving a small relief from the blistering summer heat. Laid out on Erin's bed, Tate quietly smoked a joint the heavy smoke that plummed from it swirling up towards the ceiling in whispy curls. Weekends were is favourite part of the week, no school meant no having to put up with the idiots that attended Westfield High with him, and it meant that he got an unlimited amount of time to spend with Erin. It had been a few days since he had found the blonde curled up on his couch, but he hadn't forgotten why she had been there. When Erin had come knocking at his front door and Constance had taken her in in an uncommon act of kindness, Tate had snuck downstairs and eavesdropped on their entire conversation. He knew exactly why she had been there, because that fucking jock had felt her up. In the morning she hadn't told him why she was there, but that didn't matter because soon it would all be set right.

Taking a deep toke on the joint, Tate watched as Erin turned on the old record player she had taken from the livingroom and placed one of her Mom's old records on it. Dressed in nothing but his old tattered flannel shirt and underwear she began slowly swaying to the music, twirling over to where he lay and plucking the joint from his fingers. Tate's tongue flicked out and wet his dry lips as Erin placed the spliff between her plump lips, dragging deep before blowing the smoke out above her head. How had he ended up with a girl like her? It was only because of her that his head remained straight most of the time, she kept the rage at bay, kept him from lashing out like his subconscious so badly wanted him to. Seductively Erin swayed her hips to The Hollies, peaking at him through the thick curtain of blonde hair that had fallen across her face causing Tate's tattered jeans to become uncomfortably tight. He lived for moments like this, moments where it was just the two of them and Erin let her hair down, she was such a free spirit and it angered him that she conformed to so many of the pathetic little cliches at Westfield. She always said it was just that she had alot of friends but that wasn't how Tate saw it, those leaches were just trying to steal her away from him. Trying to change her into a little suburban house-wife that fit their generic mould.

A loud crash snapped the two out of their little haven. The battered door to Erin's room smashed open before Chad stormed in, throwing the record player off of the chest of drawers, stopping the music in a scratchy mess. "I've got a fucking headache Erin, this shit isn't helping." Stomping across to where Erin had stopped dancing, Chad snatched up the joint inhaling the pungent smoke before letting out a low laugh. "You're Mom isn't home, how about you keep me and your little boyfriend busy?"

On the bed Tate stiffened up at Chad's words, rage beginning to course through his veins. Chad wasn't the first pervy boyfriend Erin's Mom had been with but he was by far the worst; a long time crack addict, alcoholic, violent asshole who, if rumours were to be believed, beat every woman he had ever been with senseless.

"Where's Mom? Did she come home last night?" Erin asked in a panic, it was never good when her mom went out alone, either she came back in a cop car or she didn't come back for days. "Chad?!" Chad's eyes raked appreciatively over her bare skin clearly not listening to a word she had just said. Pulling the flannel shirt tighter around her body, Erin began searching for her converse and once found under a heap of dirty clothes began pulling them on quickly. "I'll go find her then shall I? You can go now Chad."

"You should get a lock for your door." Tate said once Chad had left the bedroom, joint still in hand.

Blowing her long hair out of her face, Erin yanked up a pair of Levi shorts wiggling them over her hips as they got stuck on her tacky skin. "I had one," She explained, buttoning up the flannel shirt. "Chad kicked the door down trying to get in. So for three months I had no door at all, an unlocked door is better than nothing."

Following Erin's lead, Tate began pulling his own shoes on, there was no way he was going to let her look for her Mom alone. It happened every now and then, her Mom would do a disappearing act and the two teens would walk the streets day and night searching for her; the last time she had done it they had found her in a house being used as a drug den, curled up on the bathroom floor with a needle hanging out of her arm. Erin would be much better off if her Mom was dead, Tate had on more than one occassion debated slipping the woman something so that she simply wouldn't wake back up but despite everything, Erin loved her Mom and the last thing Tate wanted to do was hurt her. "Where are we starting?"

"The liquor store I guess." Erin sighed. "It's too hot for this shit, why can't she be like a regular Mom? Your Mom can be a bitch but atleast she doesn't vanish." Sliding the window open, she hopped out of it into the long dead flower bed and when Tate followed they began the short walk to the liquor store.

The day was unquestionably hot, even by californian standards, and in the small amount of time they had been out in the afternoon sun Erin could feel her back getting wet with sweat causing the shirt to stick to her tacky skin. All Erin could do was hope that her Mom had passed out behind the liquor store, making their little rescue mission as short as possible. Jason's cruel words still rang clearly in her mind, everything he had said about her Mom was true and there was little Erin could say to sway peoples opinion of her but for once she wished her Mom would stop proving everyone right and pull herself together.

"One day you won't have to do this anymore. I'll take you away from here and we can be happy."

Smiling brightly up at Tate, Erin took his hand in her own and swung it happily. "I'm happy where ever I am as long as I'm with you."

The neon sign for the liquor store came into view bringing Erin crashing back to reality, a few cars were parked outside of it which wasn't unusual on a Saturday afternoon, but her stomach dropped when she recognised one of them. "Come on, lets get this over with." Jogging to the large bins that were housed behind the store, the pair began yelling for Erin's Mom even though they knew the odds of getting an answer were slim to none. If she was there it was likely she'd be unconscious.

"Erin!" Tate called out, moving a cardboard box aside after spotting a pair of dirty heels. Passed out in a pool of vomit, Erin's Mom lay clutching a half empty bottle of cheap vodka, the straps of her top hanging down her arms.

"Mom, why do you do this to yourself?" Grumbled Erin hoisting her Mom to her feet with Tate's help. "Wake up Mom, I'm not carrying you all the way home in this heat." Giving her a quick slap to the right cheek, Erin was rewarded with a groggy croak as he Mom's eyes peeled open slowly.

"Erin, what are you doing love? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"It's Saturday Mom." With an arm wrapped around each of there shoulders, Tate and Erin all but dragged her Mom out from behind the liquor store back to the main street so they could start the tedious walk home. "Come on Mom, you have to try use your legs. Me and Tate can't take all your weight."

"Look who it is."

Erin felt herself physically shrink as the unmistakable voice of Jason Anderson carried across the stores parking lot, when she had spotted his car parked up she had been hoping he would be gone before they dragged her Mom unceremoniously down the street.

"The local _freak_ and his slut. And if I'm not mistaken isn't that your drunk of a mother? Hey Michelle! I'll give you a can of beer for a handjob."

" _Ignore him Tate._ " Erin urged quietly, not wanting to add to the bad day she was currently having.

"Hey Langdon! You're girlfriend kissed me at my party, did you know that? Would have gone further but I'm a man of standards."

Before Erin could utter a word, Tate had dropped the hold he had on her Mom and was storming over to Jason a deadly look in his dark eyes. "Tate! He's not worth it!" She yelled, placing her Mom down onto the sidewalk gently before sprinting to catch up with her boyfriend and stop him before he did something that could get him arrested. "Tate!" But it was too late, he had already lunged for Jason knocking him down onto the hot ground and unleashing a flurry of punches to the jocks face. "Tate stop!"

He had been holding it all in since the party, making sure not to punish Jason like he needed to be because he had bigger plans, but the moment the idiotic jock opened his mouth Tate saw red and there wasn't a force on the planet that could have stopped him from giving the boy the beating he deserved. Faintly through the fog of rage, he could just make out Erin's voice pleading with him to stop. But why should he? Jason wasn't getting anything that he didn't deserve but as Erin' voice broke through again Tate felt himself coming back and for a moment he broke out of the white hot rage. "He hurt you."

Ceasing the opportunity Tate's break gave him, Jason struggled out from beneath the blonde before launching himself into the smaller boy and hitting him as hard as he could. "You fucking dick!" Jason growled his fist connecting with Tate's ribs. "You're a fucking nobody Langdon, you could die and no one would even know! That's how little you mean at this school." Getting to his feet Jason changed from punching Tate to kicking him, as he ignored Erin's screams to stop. "You know why she's with you? Because no one in their right mind would want to take on the local whores daughter knowing what she's guna grow up to be."

"Jason stop! You'll kill him!" Drawing up all the strength she had Erin barged into Jason in a desperate attempt to end the beating he was giving Tate. "Stop it!"

"Maybe I will kill him, do the world a favour!"

Erin could only think of one way to stop Jason's assault. Quick as lightening she kneed him as hard as she could in the balls, there was no way someone like her could fight Jason off but like a house of cards that had been blown over, Jason crumpled to the ground in a groaning heap. "Are you okay?" She gasped, taking Tate's face in her hands and examining the damage Jason had done.

"I'm fine." Slightly unsteady, Tate got to his feet dusting himself off briefly. A groan from Jason drew his attention down to his feet where the jock was creased over from Erin's hit, without a second thought Tate kicked him hard in the ribs, another groan pouring from his mouth. _"You ever say anything to her again, and I'll kill you. And I don't mean it in the same limp-dicked way you do. I. Will. Kill. You."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

* * *

 _November 2011  
_

Violet studied the girl opposite her silently, taking a deep breath she cast her eyes down to the year book at the page she had just flicked to. On the top right handside of the page was a photo of Erin out on the playing field, she was wearing a pretty floral sundress and smiling brightly at whoever was taking the photo but that wasn't what had Violet quietly stewing. Just visable over Erin's left shoulder was the messy blonde hair and gloomily handsome face of Tate, on closer inspection of the photo it was clear that they were holding hands; the girls left arm was chucked against her side, her hand hidden behind her back where she was holding the awkward boys hand. Try as she might Violet couldn't help but feel the unwelcome pang of jealousy at how intimate and comfortable the two were together, just from the photo it was clear that the two were inseperable and very much in love.

"It's the only thing I have left of him." Erin spoke sadly. "I hid it from the others because they'd destroy it if they knew there was a photo of him in it. Even after everything he did...there's still apart of me." Sighing deeply, Erin struggled to find the words to explain how she felt about Tate, she didn't even really know herself. "He has a part of me. I lost apart of me the day I died because I lost him."

"So this isn't about you hating him because of what he did, it's about the fact you don't want him to be with anyone else even though he's moved on. Kind of pathetic."

"No! That's not what it's about at all. Are you missing the fact where he killed sixteen of us that day? Sixteen. I'm trying to help you understand Tate, but if you're only interesting in pissing up him like a bitch in heat then you might aswell leave now." Quirking her eyebrow expectantly, Erin waited for Violet to get up from the table and forget their conversation had ever happened, but after a few seconds the girl surprised Erin by staying in her seat.

Violet let out a long sigh before finally breaking the silence. "Can we get out of here? I know you can't leave the school but can we go somewhere else on the grounds?"

"Sure." Getting to her feet Erin led the way, swerving in and out of the many students that were crammed into the corridors. It had been so long since she had spoken to someone living, someone who wasn't consumed by rage and trapped at Westfield. It was a nice change of pace, something different to listening to all of the other teenagers complaining and wailing about how unfair it was they were stuck there. Taking a left turn, Erin pushed open one of the many doors that led outside and headed out into the warm californian heat, it was nice to be outside. "Lets go to the playing field." She announced, looking over her shoulder briefly to check that Violet was still following her.

"Were you born here?" Violet asked.

Finding an isolated spot on the left side of the field, Erin dropped to the grass, crossing her legs before answering. "Yeah, born and bred californian girl here. Blonde hair and tan give it away right?" She joked, pleased when Violet let out a quiet laugh. "I know what you must be thinking, what did Tate want with a valley girl like me? I'm not like them though, as I told you I didn't exactly have the gated community, trust fund life. But I don't know what he saw in me either."

Plucking a blade of grass from the ground, Violet twiddled it between her fingers silently. She knew what Tate saw in Erin it was hard to miss, she was a pretty girl, one any guy would drool over, and even though Violet hated to admit it she seemed like a nice person, not false and fake like the girls that attended Westfield with her but genuinly a nice, good person. "What happened to your Mom when you died?"

The question took Erin back, and it took her a few moments to be able to answer. "I don't know. I never heard that she died, so I assume that she'd still drinking herself into oblivion at home. Some things never change."

"Tell me about it," Violet snorted. "We moved here because my Dad cheated on my Mom after she had this brutal miscarriage, and now they put on this shit act that it's all fine now but they obviously hate each other. I don't know why they don't just get divorced already."

"That's fucked up, why doesn't your Mom kick his ass to the curb? That's what I'd do."

Violet shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, she said they still love each other. Doesn't seem that way to me though. And I'm stuck in their bullshit, passive aggressive showdown." Pausing for a moment, Violet threw the blade of grass aside. "Sometimes I wish I was dead."

Erin's nose scrunched as she shook her head no. "You don't, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Trust me. Imagine being stuck with the same people for, like eternity because that's all it basically is. I hate most of the idiots I'm stuck with and only one day out of the whole fucking year can I get away from them."

"But if you stuck with Tate would it be alright then?"

"I love...loved Tate more than anything but even with him around I'd still be stuck in one place forever, never get to see the world or have children. All I do is watch as class after class graduates and starts the beginning of their life when I can never do the same. It sucks."

Violet's mouth opened to speak but snapped shut when a blonde haired boy walked past them, his blue eyes watching Violet oddly. "Can he not see you? Or is he just a creep?"

Laughing loudly, Erin lay back on the grass enjoying the feeling of it against her skin. "He can see me, didn't want people thinking you were a weirdo who sat alone talking to yourself." She patted the ground beside her. "Lay down, it feels great. But he probably wondered why an effortlessly cool girl like you was hanging around with someone like me."

"You mean a barbie?" Violet teased, laying back beside a laughing Erin. It was strange how when she put aside her own feelings for Tate that she felt unusually comfortable around the dead girl, it felt like they had known each other for years and were just catching up. "Can you use a phone? Can dead people use phones?"

Again Erin burst into a fresh wave of giggles. "Of course I can use a phone! I'm dead not a caveman. Sometimes when we're bored me and Steph will prank call people from the phone in the teachers lounge, see us ghosts know how to live too."

Suddenly Violet sat back upright, and began rummaging in her bag until she found a pen and scrap of paper. Quickly scribbling on it, she passed it out to Erin. "It's my phone number, call it and you can speak to Tate."

For the second time Erin was taken back by Violet, it was obviously clear that the girl was in love with Tate and even so she still wanted to reconnect Erin with him. It was an act of kindness Erin hadn't seen in a long time, and it really touched her. "You don't need to do that. He's with you now and I respect and accept that, I just thought you should know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

"Take it." Violet urged, shoving the paper into Erin's hand not taking no for an answer. She didn't know why she was doing it, one phone call between the two had the possibility to ruin anything she had going with Tate but something in the back of her mind told her that it was something the dead girl needed. She needed closure. "So, you told me you had no idea what he had planned. But you knew something was wrong, am I right?"

With Violet's clear change of subject Erin decided not to push the matter further. "The run in with Jason was only the beginning. I never thought he'd do what he did but over time I realised the true darkness that was within him."

"But you stayed with him?"

She did and if she had to do it all over again, Erin was one hundred percent sure she'd make the exact same choice and for one reason. "I loved him."

* * *

 **A/N Thank you to everyone reading this story :) If you want to leave me any of your thoughts that'd be great, whether it's positive or constructive critism. Sorry this chapter is quite short but I'm super busy at the moment.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

 _Summer 1993  
_

Erin flicked boredly through the book she was supposed to be studying for English, the words on the page nothing more than a jumble of writing. No matter how hard she tried to concertrate and retain the information Erin couldn't get her brain to play ball but it was hardly her fault, her Mom and Chad had been up all night screaming at each other and smashing the already dilapidated house to pieces. It was a common occurance but Erin still struggled to survive through a full school day on only a few hours sleep. The unbearably stuffy californian heat wasn't helping either, even dressed in the thin sundress Erin felt uncomfortably hot and irritable. It was just not a good day.

"Erin!" Stephanie yelled, earning an angry shush from the librarian Mr Carmichael. "Quick, it's Tate!"

Inwardly Erin groaned, this was the last thing she needed. "What is it? Has he left school again? He's only going to get him self expel-"

"He and Jason Anderson are fucking killing each other in the gymnasium! Move!" In a whirl of blonde and black hair Stephanie ran back out of the library, ignoring the chastizing Mr Carmichael was yelling after her.

Collecting her books up into her bag, Erin darted after her friend heart pounding furiousy in her chest. It had been weeks since the run in between Tate and Jason at the liquor store and he had promised he was going to let things lie, mentally Erin kicked herself she should have known better than to believe that Tat would be able to ignore Jason's batings. His fuse was short and when he blew, really blew, it was more than a little terrifying. As Erin reached the double doors which led into the gymnasium it wasn't Tate she was afraid for.

"Tate!" She screamed, throwing the doors open and taking in the scene before her with a hushed _fuck._ It was clear the boys had been brawling for some time, both had bloodied faces and their clothes were tussled but at that moment Tate had the upper hand and was on top of the larger boy strangling him with shaking arms. "Stop it! Tate!" Running over to the pair and shoving past the small crowd that had circled around them, Erin grabbed at Tate's arm in a desperate attempt to dislodge him from Jason. "Tate! Let him go!" Her shouts fell on deaf ears as Tate continued strangling Jason, who's face was beginning to turn an ugly shade of purple from lack of oxygen. In a panic that her boyfriend was actually going to kill Jason, Erin did the only thing she could think of and back handed the right side of Tate's head as hard as she could.

Dark eyes shot up to look for the person who had struck him, and controlled by his rage Tate threw himself at the assailant, so consumed by anger not realizing it was in fact Erin.

Cold fear washed over Erin as Tate's strong grip latched around her throat squeezing so tight she fought and spluttered for breathe. "Tate!" She gasped, clawing wildly at his hands. "It's me! Tate it's Erin." After what felt like the longest moment of Erin's life, the pressure on her throat eased as the red mist that clouded Tate's mind began to clear.

"Wh...I'm so sorry." He whispered in despair. "Did I hurt you?" It wasn't the first time he'd lost control and accidently snapped on Erin, but he'd never strangled her before and the realisation of what he had done brought his world crashing down. He'd hurt the only person he cared about.

"I'm fine." Coughed Erin, sucking in as much air as her lungs would allow. "I'm fine." She repeated in a softer voice, more to convince herself than Tate. Scrabbling to her feet on shaking legs, Erin turned her attention to Jason who was watching the pair with cruel smugness. "Why can't you leave him alone?"

Jason laughed. "You're defending him? After we all just witnessed what he did to you," Stepping closer to Erin, he bent down to her height his whole aura oozing patronizing smugness. "Is it because you like that sort of thing? You like it...rough."

Erin could practically feel the snap in Tate at Jason's words but before he could grab at the jock again she yanked him back using her whole weight to stop him. "Leave us alone!" Turning her attention to Stephanie, she shoved Tate towards her unwilling friend. "Please just take him outside. Please."

Although it was very much clear Stephanie wanted to do anything but be around Tate, she pulled him out of the gymnasium all the same.

"You see I told you guys he was a freak, if anything he's worse than I gave him credit for."

Erin's own anger spiked and instead of heading to the girls bathroom, where she intended to check the damage Tate had done to her neck, she marched over to Jason only stopping when their bodied were inches apart. "What's your fucking problem?" She hissed, poking his chest. "Is it because I turned you down at your party? Is that what all this is about? You're pathetic Jason."

"You turn me down? That's not how I remember it." Raising his arms, Jason gestured at the small group that had gathered to watch the fight. "All these epople saw what that _freak_ is capable of. No one wants him in this school, after parents and teachers find out what went down here he's finished."

Before she could stop herself, Erin slapped Jason across the face the almighty crack it let off echoing around the hall. "Fuck you Jason." Spinning on her heel, Erin stormed away just as he clutched at his reddening cheek. As her hand brushed the door she paused and glanced over her shoulder. "Years after we've graduated, I'll come and knock on your door Jason just to ask what it feels like to have peaked in high school."

* * *

Erin wasn't sure how long she had been laid string blankly at the curtain as it billowed in the cool night breeze. It had been an awkward evening that was for sure; she and Tate had returned to her house after she had left Jason in the gymnasium, both not in the mood to sit through the remaining lessons of the day, Erin's house was always the easier option no one would even notice they were there. But as the hours had crawled by it became increasingly obvious that Tate had no intention of speaking to her, she assumed he was too consumed by guilt, and when they had gone to bed he had simply truned on his side facing away from her. She wasn't sure if it was the coke or the tension but Erin couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried.

Sitting up Erin reached onto the window-sill, snatching up the tattered pack of cigarettes before lighting one with a match. Glancing over at Tate's bare back she couldn't help but sigh; if he just talked to her instead of bottling everything up they would probably be talking or she could even be sleeping. God she needed sleep. Her body was screaming out for it, all her muscles ached and her eyes stung they were so tired but the less she slept the harder she found it to sleep at all. "Tate, I know you're awake so you might aswell talk to me." Beside her Tate grumbled lowly as he turned onto his back, still avoiding eye contact. "It was an accident, I don't hate you or blame you. Please..." She didn't know what she was saying please for, she just couldn't take anymore of the silent treatment.

"If you love someone, you should never hurt them." Tate said somberly, plucking the cigarette from Erin's fingers. "I hurt you today. I fucking hurt you Erin."

"Yes you did, but you didn't mean to. And it was that idiot Anderson's fault anyway Tate. Stop punishing yourself, it was a mistake."

"A big mistake." He corrected.

Erin sighed. "But a mistake all the same, it's not like you're going to make a habit of it." Snatching back her cigarette, she silently fumed at how stubborn Tate was being. It was one of the only traits he had that Erin utterly despised, all she wanted to do was talk about what had happened and move on. Simple. But her complicated boyfriend had other plans and was making her initial awkwardness turn to annoyance. "For fuck sake Tate, either man up or fuck off." Lifting her foot she kicked at his side hard until he fell out of the bed in a tangled heap of limbs and bedding. "I wasn't even mad at you asshole! But guess what I am now." Standing up on the mattress, Erin threw the ashtray that had been perched on the window sill at Tate's head, missing him by millimetres. "You came back here with me, did some coke and ignored me. You could have done that alone at _your house_ , you didn't need to bring your pity party here! Fucking get out!"

"You want me to fucking go?!" Tate yelled back, his own temper flaring. "Cos I'll fucking go Erin! I'll walk out that door and you'll never see me again!"

There it was the emotional blackmail that Tate did so expertly without even realising he was doing it, Erin had been wondering how long it would take till it went in that direction but for once she promised herself she wouldn't back down so easily. "Oh here we go! That's it Tate, make it about you like you always do. Walk out. Do it, because if you do it will be _me_ who doesn't give you a second thought! FUCKING DO IT!"

It was a common occurance for screaming arguments to be heard from Erin's house at all times of the night and day, so there was no need to worry about how loud she was being. Her neighbors didn't care and he Mom certainly didn't.

Tate hesitated for a second, his hard running through his unkempt hair. If he left he would have won the argument but he knew Erin, she wasn't joking when she said that she'd forget alla bout him. As cold as he could be, Erin could be positively artic. "Fuck you, I thought you said you'd never leave me?!" It was a weak comback but it was all he could come up with.

"I'm not the one fucking leaving am I Tate?"

She had a good point, one Tate couldn't argue with. Silently admitting defeat to himself, he did the only thing he could think of that would defuse the situation. Stomping across the small bedroom, he grabbed the back of Erin's nec and pulled her to him crashing his lips onto hers. He felt her angrilly kiss him back with just as much fever, nipping at his bottom lip every now and then.

"This doesn't mean you won." Erin panted when she broke the kiss in need of air. A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth when Tate grinned the stupid lop-sidded grin he knew melted her heart. "I always win Langdon."

Drawing Erin back to him, Tate kissed her feriously again his hand ghosting down her flat stomach towards her light blue panties. This was exactly what they both needed to get out their frustrations, with that thought in mind Tate crept his fingers under the waistband of Erin's panties snaking down to tease her. Just as his fingers were about to dip inside of her, Erin slipped out of Tate's hold a smug smirk on her pretty face.

"I don't think so Langdon, you got to try harder than that to get back in my good books." Giggling loudly, Erin weaved past Tate towards the opposite side of the room feeling extremely pleased with herself. "I thought you liked a good chase?" She taunted with a quirked eyebrow.

With a speed that Erin couldn't have prepared for, Tate was across the room and had her pinned against the wall, her slim legs wrapped around his hips. "I only ever chase you." Unable to hold himself back any longer, Tate wiggled free from his boxers and drove into Erin earning a high pitched squeak from the blonde. Angry sex was what they were best at, it was how they operated and as he pounded into her knowing that no doubt the commotion had woken Chad and Michelle he couldn't have cared less. It felt to good. He loved fucking her and he fucking loved her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

* * *

 _November 2011  
_

Violet lay beside Erin quietly reliving some of what the blonde had told her. It was clear that Erin had been positive Tate was going to kill the asshole jock, and that the seventeen year old was the only person who saw the real darkness that lay within Tate. Try as she might, Violet couldn't help but be envious of the bond the two had shared. Since meeting Tate she had been sure that they shared a special, unique bond but obviously she had been wrong. She didn't know Tate at all.

"If you hadn't of pulled him off, do you think...do you think he would have killed that asshole?"

"Without a doubt." Erin replied matter-of-factly. "I remember once he asked me if I wished my Mom was dead, of course I said yes, I was a kid and my Mom was an alcoholic junkie. He told me he could do it, told me how he would and I thought he was joking until I looked into his eyes and saw that he was being dead serious. I cried and begged him not to do it, told him I loved my Mom despite her many flaws and that was the end of it." Rolling onto her stomach, Erin eyed Violet with sad eyes. "That was when I knew there was something different about Tate, something dark and dangerous. Didn't stop me loving him though."

Violet laughed. "So you're a cliche. A girl who thought she would be the one to change her bad boyfriend."

"We're all cliches. One way or another. I accept mine, and one day you'll accept yours. Like the fact you cut yourself because you crave attention from your parents, but instead they put all their energy into each other and themselves." Erin smiled softly at the outraged look that washed over Violet's pale face. "Not judging." She said holding her hands up. "My Mom was an extensive self harmer, one of her many problems, so I know the signs when I see them. No normal person wheres long sleeves in this heat unless their trying to hide something."

Awkwardly Violet tugged at the ends of her sleeves, feeling childish in front of a girl who had one of the worst up bringings she had ever heard of that wasn't part of a TV show.

Sensing Violet's unease, Erin turned the attention back to Tate. Expertly pretending the conversation had never happened. "Things began to spin out of control for Tate...well and me. Things got ugly. Fast."

* * *

 _Winter 1993_

Erin paced up and down her dishevelled bedroom, taking impatient tokes on a cigarette as she waited for Tate to arrive. She had been waiting for over two hours and still he hadn't returned, her stomach was turning violently and a dull gnawing had started shortly after.  
Dropping down onto her bed, making the old frame creak loudly, Erin tried to distract herself by toying with a loose thread in the sweater she had borrowed off of Tate. How long did it really take? Tate had a regular dealer and it never took over an hour usually.

Getting back to her feet, Erin padded through to the family room and began pacing again.

"Erin you're driving me fucking insane with your pacing. Fucking stop!" Chad barked from the couch, throwing an empty beer bottle at her for good measure.

"Tate should be back by now." Erin mumbled to herself, her frantic pacing continuing despite the near miss from the beer bottle. "He should be back."

"Be back from where? What the fuck are you on?" Laughed Chad, his previous annoyance forgotten. "You both using H or something? Cos I can get you some for a good price."

Erin's head snapped to where Chad was sat on the couch, her eyes burning with anger. "No! Even if I was a junkie I wouldn't come to you for anything. I'd rather get shot in the head."

Again Chad laughed, this time though it had a cruel edge to it. "Withdrawals getting worse huh? I've seen this a million times, and the one thing thats certain about this situation is that little boy that follows you around is not coming back to give you your fix until he's had his own."

"Tate's not like th-"

"We're all like that Erin!" Scooting over on the tattered couch, Chad patted the free space to the left of him. "So come take a fucking seat and let me sort you out."

Erin regarded her Mom's boyfriend dubiously, the last thing she would ever do was trust Chad, but she was desperate and Tate had already taken longer than usual. What is Chad was right? What if Tate had gone back to his own house to sort himself out and was going to be another few hours before he got back to her? With a quick scan of the room to check that her Mom was well and truly out cold, Erin took the seat beside Chad and let out a long breath. "I'm not smoking crack."

Shoving the crack pipe to one side on the coffee table, Chad gave Erin a toothy grin as he reached into the chest pocket of his flannel shirt. "That wasn't what I was fucking offering. Like I said H is where it's at, high like no other, and it's all I've got."

* * *

Warm light shone through the broken blinds pulling Erin out of the deep sleep she'd been consumed in. Not used to the unwelcome light, her eyes squinted adjusting to the brightness of the room. But it wasn't her bedroom. "What the hell? Mom?" She didn't know why she called for her Mom, but her brain was struggling to piece together the events of the night before and it was scaring her. _"Mom?"_ Erin squeaked in a much smaller voice as she got to her feet slowly, her legs shaking slightly under her weight.

In the archway that led to the small kitchen, Michelle stood watching her daughter a sad look on her perpetually tired face. "Morining sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Accepting the cup of coffee her Mom was holding out to her, Erin took a sip of the dark liquid before continuing. "What happened last night?" The look on Michelle's face made Erin's stomach drop, and the small amount of coffee she had consumed want to come straight back up. "Mom?"

"You're going to be late for school." Michelle brushed past her daughter towards the coffee table where her cigarettes were, avoiding eye contact with Erin as much as she could.

Erin's temper grew as her Mom ignored her question and her presence. Not once since she had first started school had her Mom ever been concerned about whether she actually attended or not, and there would be no chance her interest in Erin'd education has suddenly blossumed. "Mom!" Erin shouted, making Michelle jump as she tried to light her cigarette. "What happened? Did Tate come over?"

Wordlessly Michelle nodded her head and with a shaking hand took a deep drag on her cigarette. "I woke up when he arrived."

"And?!" Erin asked impatiently.

Taking another toke on her cigarette Michelle scrambled to try and find words to explain what had happened, because lord knew she didn't want to remember. "He came in...the bang woke me up and then it all went, it went bad Erin. I should have known, I should have seen him so the asshole he is."

Erin's mind buzzed at a hundred miles an hour trying to make sense of the little information her Mom had given her. "Who, Tate?" Slowly Michelle shook her head no and ice cold dread crept all through Erin's body. The answer was glaringly obvious but she needed to hear it, out loud from her Mom's mouth. She needed to her the words for them to be real. "Mom..."

"Don't you ever touch that stuff again Erin. You're better than that, you're better than me..."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Chad and his fucking friends happened Erin!" Michelle screamed back, tears pouring down her sallow cheeks. "He pumped you full of that shit and invited his friends over for a little party with the underage girl! I tried Erin...I tried to stop them, I swear...but they were too strong..."

For a moment Erin stood still letting everything sink in, the moment she had been waiting for with so many of the dirtbags her Mom dated had finally happened and she had no memory of it. "So they?"

Michelle shook her head. "No, I'd have died before I let them suceed Erin! Tate showed up...got a temper hasn't he?"

Looking at her Mom closer, Erin could see the dark bruising and slight swelling that had taken over her face. Had Tate down that? No, he would never hurt Erin like that. He knew that she loved her Mom, no matter what bad decisions she made.

"This is nothing sweetheart, and Chad won't be coming back."


End file.
